The Girl with the Broken Smile
by SilverMeaning of Life and Love
Summary: Mikan was always blamed for the incident. She knew that she was a murderer. Nothing would ever change that fact. Since that day, she can never truly smile. Along the way will she meet him? Will he heal her? Will he be enough to close the wounds that has scarred her soul? Or will Mikan realize that all she does is hurt the ones she loves? R
1. How it all began

**Chapter 1: How it all began**

**Hey everyone this is Silver meaning of life and love and this is my new story. I have been going through a lot of stuff over the days, and so writing helps me take my mind off of things. Well, enjoy hope you guys like it. Everyone, please review, I try very hard so you guys can enjoy it. Please R&R.**

**Disclaimer- I don't GA, I only own Yuri Sakura. I also own the wonderful ideas lol.**

**Ch. 1 - How it all began**

Mikan is a bright 15 year old girl, but she is very troubled. Her family doesn't have any more money and they blame her for what happened…... So Mikan and her brother Yuri were being sent to the famous Alice Academy.

….

Character info :

**Mikan Sakura: **Mikan is currently 15 years old. She has amber hair up to her shoulders and she has brown eyes. She hardly talks to anyone, but if you get her pissed **beware your life is about to end. **But other than that she is a sweet girl. Her alice is nullifying.

**Yuka Sakura: **She is 35 years old. She has short amber hair, and has brown eyes. She was once a sweet, kind woman but all that changed due to the…. incident. She has the stealing alice.

**Yuri Sakura: **He is 10 years old. He has spiky brown hair and bright green eyes. He is a very polite boy. He is shy, but when he has something to say he will speak up. He is very cheerful. His alice is to erase memories, and to change the moods.

**Natsume Hyuuga: **He is 15 years old. He has black raven hair and crimson eyes. He has a stoic face, but deep down he can be kind. His alice is fire.

**Hotaru Imai: **She is 15 years old. She is a cold hearted girl; she loves money. She has raven short hair and violet eyes. Her alice is to make invention.

**Ruka Nogi: **He is 15 years old. He has blond hair and blue eyes. He loves animals and is very nice. He has the animal pheromone alice.

…

Mikan and her brother Yuri were getting their luggage out of the trunk.

"Hurry up! I want to get out of here as soon as possible," her mother yelled.

"Shut up you hag!" Mikan retorted.

"What did you call ME?" Her mother questioned as she got out of the car.

"You heard me Hag! H-A-G," Mikan spelled it to her.

"You are an ungrateful bitch!" "Smack" Yuka stated as she slapped her daughter.

"Stop! Please stop! Onee-chan, Okaa-san!" Yuri pleaded through tears.

He ran to Mikan and his mother, but tripped. He started to cry.

Mikan walked over to him and petted him. "Its ok. We are finished."

Yuka was annoyed, she walked to Yuri " You little pest," she stated as she was about to step on him with her heels.

A hand grabbed hold of Yuka's shoe and she was thrown on her ass.

Mikan stood up "You'll never lay a finger on him again you bitch! Now get out of here before that heel goes up your ass!" Mikan threatened.

"Thank god, I won't see you two pests in my life anymore. My biggest regret was to give birth to you two," She began toward the car.

"Mommy, please don't go….. please don't leave me alone," Yuri kept pleading. "Please mommy I'll be a good boy from now on, but please don't leave me". Yuri's tears fell down his cheeks and fell to the ground. His eyes pleading Yuka to take him back.

She turned and she smiled "Good riddance" and got in the car and drove away.

Yuri stayed in shock; he kept replaying what his mother said to him.

Mikan saw what it did to him she picked him up "Yuri, its ok. We will be fine we don't need her anymore, just remember you will always have me," she stated with a smile.

"Yeah…. You're right Mikan-nee." he stated with a small sad smile.

They followed men in black suits and they were face to face with a teacher. He has black hair, old grandpa glasses and a frog on his shoulder; his name is Jinno-sensei.

"Listen here, you must wear these uniforms." he said as he handed the two uniforms. "The elementary quarters are in the north building up ahead, that's where your classes, Mr. Sakura, will be attending. As for you, Ms. Sakura, you will be attending the high school quarters which is across from the elementary quarters which is the south building."

"You are both special stars which means you will have your own room and –"

"Excuse me Jin-Jin- sensei but could it be possible we, my brother and I share one room?" Mikan pleaded.

"Ms. Sakura we do not give special treatment to students." Jinno- sensei informed.

"Please I will do anything…. Please!" Mikan begged.

"Well then since you put it that way you must do 50 community hour's each." Jinno-sensei smirked.

"Whatever …. Thanks".

Mikan and Yuri went to their room and started unpacking.

Mikan wondered if Yuri was mad at her, she turned and saw him with a picture of their father and they were all smiling.

Yuri started crying, holding the picture to his heart. He looked at Mikan and she burst into tears, she ran to Yuri and held him tight. "I'm sorry Yuri, it's my fault, if it wasn't for me he… would… still be here."

Yuri held her "Onee-chan it's not 'sniff' your 'sniff' fault.

They cried throughout the whole night.

"Mikan-nee, I still love you and Okaa-san even though she hates me." he grabbed Mikan's hand and put it to his heart. "No matter what, Mikan I will never blame you," he smiled at her.

Mikan smiled too, but hers was a broken smile, her smile was full, but through so much pain, guilt, hate; Mikan could not truly smile.

Tears fell down her face as she smiled at Yuri and she fell to sleep.

"No matter what anyone says, Mikan you are special and you are not at fault; hopefully there will be someone who will heal you and make you truly smile." Yuri stated as he watched his sister sleep.

**Hi everyone, well that's it I hope you like it. This story means a lot to me, it really hits home. This could be happening to people you know right now! Sorry guys, just a little bit stressed. Please, review! I work really hard to write and update. Send you my love :) R&R**

**(revised 7/22/13)**


	2. Shattered

**Hey guys thanks for the reviews I appreciate it a lot. ^_^ Happy Late April Fools XD. Hope you enjoy. Please review. Love you lots.**

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"Yuri, wake up we need to get dressed", Mikan stated.

"mhhhh what is it Mikan-nee?, he asked as he rubbed his sleepy eyes.

Mikan couldn't help but laugh she picked Yuri and twirled him around.

Mikan smiled at Yuri "Let's do our best ok Yuri!"

Yuri just smiled.

They both got dressed; they wore their uniforms.

Mikan was dressed so adorably, her uniform shows all her curves, her short hair made her look so young and innocent. Her brown- hazel eyes shining with excitement. But she had a stoic expression on because she knew she couldn't smile; she just couldn't. so she decided to just have a blank look.

Yuri was dressed so cutely his uniform made him look more mature, it made him look attractive when he unbuttoned his shirt just a little. His short spiky hair made him look like a little bad-boy; his green eyes are bright with excitement and innocence. His smile so cute, can make all the girls in school faint for such beauty. The smile of an angel.

Before they left they went to their fathers picture and prayed to him.

"_Otou-san, please give Mikan-nee the courage and strength to smile and to let go of all the guilt inside her. Please let her make friends here father please?", Yuri begged._

_"Otou-san go-gomen nasai If I didn't do It, you would still be here. Please Otou-san let Yuri be happy here? let him have as many friends as possible. I promise I will protect him", Mikan pledged._

They finished praying to their father.

"Lets go Mikan-nee", Yuri smiled as he reached for Mikan's hand. Mikan also smiled as well as she could and gave Yuri her hand and walked out of their room.

_Let's go together._

Mikan and Yuri parted ways as Mikan went to the south building while Yuri went to the north building.

…..

Mikan's POV

"Ohayo everyone we have a new student , her name is Mikan Sakura lets make her feel welcome! Narumi-Sensei stated.

_That's my cue, well here goes nothing._

I entered the room with my stoic expression. I looked at everyone and their eyes were buddging out of their eyes sockets, the girls were glaring at me and the boys were drooling. I chuckled looking at their expressions.

"Hi everyone its nice to meet you I'm Mikan Sakura. I really hope we become good friends and we get along well". I put a small smile on.

All the boys were screaming " Did you guys see that her smile is so beautiful!".

"Shut the hell up!" The girls screamed in unison.

I was surprised usually my smiles are average, ever since that day I never smiled as brightly.

"Do any of you have questions for Mikan?" Narumi asked.

"Yeah I do how old are you?" one kid asked.

"I'm 15 years old", I stated.

"Whats your alice?" another one asked.

"My alice is nullification."

"Are you single?"

"That's personal I wont tell you that sorry", I blushed.

"Awwwwww" You're taken! Damn this sucks".

"You heard her, now shut up and stop asking personal questions", a girl with blue hair stated.

They kept crowding me, suddenly a gun was shot; but it was not really a gun, either way it severly injured all the students there but not me thank god.

Get back to your sits now unless you want to be shot with my BAKA GUN 10,000 with Super charge", a girl with black hair and purple eys stated coldly.

"Thank you very much for helping me", I said to the cold girl.

She smirked at me " you can repay me by buying me lunch"

"I guess….. that the least I can do". I stated with a tiny smile.

"Ok everyone now lets see who wants to be Mikan's partner?" Narumi asked.

Many people raised their hands, but they soon fell when their partners glared at them. I didn't smile anymore. Suddenly a hand was raised.

I looked to see a boy. His hand was raised as there was a manga in his face.

{Gasp}, everyone.

"Natsume-kun that's a surprise , Mikan–chan this is Natsume Hyuuga! He is your partner! This is very interesting", Narumi cheered.

I was a bit frightened. I walked over to him and I sat down. I didn't talk to anyone, not even my partner during the whole class period.

"Ring!" _Now its lunch time. Thank god I just want to get away from everyone in here._

I walked out of the class before anyone else. I couldn't be stuck with those kids. I have no desire to make friends because in the end they betray you.

* * *

Normal POV

Mikan was tired she hated this school, she knew there was no point in trying if she will always be the girl that everyone will ignore.

She walked around campus and saw this beautiful Sakura Tree. The sakura flowers were about to bloom. It was surrounded by a field of flowers. She couldn't help but smile. It was the most beautiful thing that she has ever seen.

" Pretty cool huh?" a mysterious voice asked.

Mikan turned and saw a guy with raven hair and crimson eyes staring at her. He is very handsome.

"Yeah it kind of is. You're Natsume right?" Mikan asked.

"Yeah", Natsume stated as he sat on the bark of the tree.

Mikan joined him, for some reason this guy grabs her attention.

"So what brought you to Alice Academy?" Natsume tuned.

"My mom dropped us off here, because we were a nuisance to her". Mikan stated with sadness in her voice.

Natsume stayed quiet, he knew how it felt to be unwanted.

Natsume heard sniffles and he turned to see Mikan crying.

Natsume couldn't stop himself from hugging her. He knew how the pain felt, the loneliness, the guilt.

"Mikan its ok. Its not your fault". Natsume tried to calm her down.

" It hu-hurts s-s-so mu-m-much", she cried.

"Its my fault, its my fault everyone is in pain and everyone hates me! She continued to sob.

But they both didn't know that someone was watching…..

* * *

**There you have it. So who was the one watching? whoever guesses it right i will dedicate the next chapter to you ^_^. **

**I will update soon hope you like it so far. Give me some feedback on what to do better or how to make this story better. Please review R&R.**


	3. The Change

**Hey everyone sorry for taking so long to update im really sorry I was a bit busy these past two weeks. But I still want to thank everyone for your reviews. ^_^ I see none of you guessed correctly so I will dedicate this chapter to katpin I never would have thought of Persona but that was kinda close lol. I would also dedicate this chapter to my best friend Stephanie HAPPY BIRTHDAY ^_^ Please review R&R**

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**Ch.3 The Change**

As Mikan was holding onto Natsume; who would have thought that someone was watching them? Hotaru looked from afar at the two kids but she wasn't alone Ruka stood close to her. As they watched, Hotaru took pictures of them.

"Hotaru do you really have to take pictures? , Ruka asked.

Hotaru looked blankly at Ruka mumbled " yes" and turned to take more pictures.

Now back to our little love birds.

…..

Mikan cried as much as she could but the pain was still there, when her tears dried up she grabbed a napkin from her pocket and cleaned her face. She looked at Natsume and smiled.

" Thank you Natsume. I'm really sorry I probably dirtied your clothes" Mikan stated with a small smile.

Natsume looked at the brunette and just snorted "Little girl you are a complete moron".

Mikan was annoyed that Natsume was laughing at her.

Mikan mumbled a "thank you" and started to walk back to the class.

Natsume watched her retreating figure walk away from him. He never felt this way about anyone. He waited until the brunette was out of view to jump up the wall through the window and wait neatly in his seat for the brunette.

Mikan came in fuming but when she saw him in his seat she was confused. " How did you? Never mind" she stated grumbly.

She went to sit next to him.

But when she sat she wasn't sitting in her seat but on Natsume. She turned really red. "Natsume you PERVERT!".

She jumped off his lap and pushed him and then sat in her seat. She put her head down, she hated that her partner was making fun of her and bothering her. But something else, she never felt this way before. Her heart was beating so fast.

Natsume continued to stare at the girl until she looked up to meet his gaze. He was awe struck as he stared at her chocolate orbs.

Mikan stared at his eyes and didn't understand why he looked at her liked that, but as she kept looking into his eyes she was lost in them; his crimson eyes burning her very soul, she wanted to look away but she couldn't.

Suddenly the bell rang and that distracted Mikan as she looked up to see everyone pile up in the classroom. She shifted her position to the front of the room and replaced her flush face into a black one.

Natsume didn't know why she changed. Her eyes were so cold, hard distant. Her lips were in a tight line. Natsume never saw Mikan like this and he didn't like it at all.

Mikan didn't want any friends, no one for that matter. She was going to make sure to keep away from Natsume. Ignore him for that matter. She knew if she opened up her heart and let her guard down, she will get hurt again and she just can't let that happen.

The day dragged on and finally the last bell rang. Mikan stood up and walked out the room.

…..

* * *

**Mikan's POV**

_I hope Yuri had a good day at school today. _I was heading straight to the North building when a girl got into my view. It was Hotaru Imai.

"What do you want Hotaru? I'm busy right now", I stated as I passed her.

" I know your brother is in this school as well", Hotaru stated.

I stopped in my tracks and I looked at Hotaru with a glare. "Whats your point Imai?" I stated with as much venom as I could muster.

"Well if you don't do me a little favor then he will get hurt", the cold girl stated.

I looked at her straight in the eyes " Are you blackmailing me?"

" Maybe" she smirked.

I smirked as well. "What is your request?"

"Its very simple, You just have to pose for my pictures and that's it" Hotaru stated.

My face fell. I was caught off guard. " Why do you want to take pictures of me?"

"Its obvious, all the guys in our class are in love with you and so they will pay major bucks for just a photo of you". Hotaru stated with dollar signs in her eyes.

"I cant believe what you're asking me. But if its pictures you want then fine but I want 20% of the profit. Do we have a deal?" I smirked.

Hotaru glared but smirked as well "glad to be in business with you."

We shook hands and I couldn't help but smile a bit. Hotaru was different from most girls I met.

…

I walked away from her and headed straight to Yuri's building.

There he was smiling at me. I smiled back and I picked him up and twirled him around.

"Mikan-nee put me down, I'm going to get sick", he stated as he laughed.

I laughed as well and put him down. He told me how he made many friends and that there was this one boy who was so cold to him but that they are good friends.

I listened to his adventure today and that boy reminded me of Hotaru maybe one day we could be friends as well.

As we headed to our room we over heard someone talking.

…...

" Black Cat we have a mission for you. This time you have no choice but to complete this mission. If you don't, I'll make sure I torture the person you cherish the most. I will personally make sure you here her screams" the mysterious voice laughed.

"You touch her and I will make sure to burn you alive. But it wont come to that not yet, I will complete the mission but it will cost you" Black Cat stated.

"Really what is it going to cost me black cat?" the mysterious voice asked.

"The only way I will complete that mission is if you let me see her. To make sure she is still ok. But if you don't the mission will be unsuccessful" stated the black cat.

"Very well then, you will finally see what we have done to her", the mysterious voice chuckled.

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**Thats it for now i hoped you guys liked it. I hope i made this chapter longer than the rest. Give me your feed back on what you thought. Love you guys remember review R&R. ^_^**


	4. The Pain

**Hey everyone, I'm so sorry that it took me so long to write this chapter it's just that school is very stressing I hardly have time to write but fear not I will continue this story till the very end. I would like to thank CrimsonHazelEyes, whose stories inspired me to continue writing these fanfics!**

**Please Review!**

**Disclaimer- I dont own GA only own Yuri Sakura.**

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_Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever._

* * *

**Normal Pov**

Who is the black cat? Who is the mysterious man? But most of all who is being tortured? Mikan thought. Mikan didn't like the fact that people were being tortured, but she also knew this wasn't any of her business. She wanted to help the black cat recover that person dear to him and beat the mysterious guy into a pulp. She was about to go in and then she felt someone tugging her hand. Her eyes met green orbs filled with fear. Mikan knew what he was thinking he didn't want her to do anything reckless. Yuri pulled her away from the scene and pulled her to a bench.

" Please Mikan-nee! Please don't go? I don't want you to do that please stay with me! I don't want to lose you too", he pleaded.

Mikan was stunned, this was the first time that Yuri ever said " I don't want to lose too". She ran her fingers through his hair, she stared into his eyes and smiled.

" I won't leave you Yuri, not now, not ever. She kissed his cheek and they began walking to central town.

**Meanwhile**

Take me to her NOW! Natsume growled

The person dressed in black let out a small chuckle. " As you wish Black Cat, hope you like what you see".

The mysterious person led Natsume down the stairwell and into a small storage room. There were cameras everywhere. 'So this place is under surveillance, it would be really difficult to save her without going unnoticed by Persona', Natsume thought.

Persona then slid a card and then placed his hand on those panels, to confirm his identity. As the light flashed green indicating that he is accepted, Natsume began analyzing every inch of this place. He will find a way and save her, he just has to.

They walked in a steady stride the halls were eerie, so gloomy, but kept. It was very tough to tell where they were going. The halls held little light, but Natsume was nocturnal and he could see everything pretty well. They reached the door, the door was made of metal and steel, there were at least 20 guards, very skilled ones in fact.

Natsume cussed at the fact. Persona smiled "Is there something wrong Black Cat?"

Natsume just ignored him and proceeded to the door, the guards blocked the way and so Natsume brought a fire ball in his hand "Step aside before I burn you to the ground" Natsume growled.

The guard began to sweat drop, he stood aside. Natsume passed through then Persona he looked at the guard and took off his glove and touched the guards shoulder " You are useless". The mans lifeless body fell to the ground. "If anyone does what this man did here today they will be killed on the spot". This made the guards even more frightened.

They proceeded through the room and there she was, his beloved sister Aoi. He felt the pain, the tears, the anger, everything. He turned to Persona and punched him in the jaw, Persona feel on his ass as he scowled at Natsume. Natsume turned to his sister whom was in chains, two holding her up by the ceiling and two holding her to the ground.

'She had blood covered on her face, bruises everywhere on her body. But there she stood whole, bruised, and alone all because of me', Natsume thought. 'If only I saved her before, if only I protected her, she wouldn't be like this'. Natsume took hesitant steps toward his sister, every step resonated through the room and soon he stood before her. He took a handkerchief and rubbed the blood from her cheeks and her forehead. She began to stir and she looked up and saw her big brother cleaning her wounds.

Go Me- Gomenasai Aoi, he whispered.

I'm sorry I couldn't protect you, I'm sorry I couldn't save you, I'm sorry that you have an older brother like me. But I promise I will save you, this time and I swear on my life that I will. He whispered in her ear, she cried, tears escaped from her eyes and trailed down her cheeks .

Natsu-Nii I know you will save me. I know you will protect me, I will be waiting for you. Don't be sad I am strong just like Nii-chan. She smiled to Natsume and that's when he held his sister and hugged her until she couldn't breathe.

"Nii- chan… cant.. breathe".

He quickly release her and kissed her forehead .

He turned to Persona and glared. "If you don't let her go right now I will kill you. I'm doing the mission so get her off those chains if you know what's good for you", Natsume growled.

"Now now, patience Black Cat", he smirked.

Natsume began to form a fireball in the palm of his hand while Persona just simply smirked. "As you wish" he took out a key and tossed it to Natsume. Natsume quickly grabbed the keys and unlocked the chains that bound his sisters hands and feet. She fell because she was still very weak. But Natsume quickly caught her and placed her on the bed before her and tucked her in. She was sound asleep. He turned to the chains and melted them.

"If I see that she is bounded again I will kill you", He growled.

Persona just smiled. " Its time Black Cat" with saying those words Persona disappeared. Natsume turned back to Aoi and held her hand.

"I will protect you this time, I wont fail you twice"

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**Hey everyone hoped you liked it! I felt so ecstatic writing this. Please keep reviewing because you, readers keep pushing me to keep writing and I want to thank you for it :D **

**R&R**


	5. The Mission

**Hey guys! I know you all probably want to kll me for taking so long, but in my defense I made this chapter the longest one yet! I know that doesn't make up for my tardiness and for neglecting you guys. I hope you guys will enjoy this chapter; just like I enjoyed writing it. Please review! Many thanks to my supporters, thanks for your comments it really helped motivate me to continue this story. Well any-who.. please RXR**

**With much love, Silvermeaning of Life and Love**

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Natsume looked over the file. He couldn't believe that his mission is basically to train a little kid. _How is it that this so called "important mission" is about some kid?_ How is it that his sister is in chains all because of a kid? He brushed his raven bangs away from his crimson eyes and studied the mission.

**...**

**Name: Yuri Sakura**

**Age: 10**

**Description: has spiky brown hair and bright green eyes.**

**Alice : Ability to erase memories and change moods.**

**Mission: You must teach him combat training because many sources want to use him against us. Take him on missions and force him to erase files as well as memories of AAO agents. If he refuses to help, then do what you have to do in order for him to cooperate.**

**...**

After reviewing the information, he burned the files in the palm of his hand. In the darkness of the forest he stood with the mosquitoes that kept sucking his blood and the quietness of the forest. He watched as the darkness was illuminated by the fireball he created; all he saw was the flames licking the manila folder. All was turned to ash and the last bit of light left enveloped the name Yuri Sakura and then there was nothing.

Meanwhile ….

Mikan and Yuri were in Central Town, Mikan was gazing at the clouds as her little brother Yuri ate his meal which consisted of a burger, fries, and a special surprise. As Yuri ate, Mikan thought of all the worse-case scenarios; she felt guilty, she kept kicking herself for leaving the Black Cat alone there in the alley.

Mikan was still wrapped around the idea of this "Black Cat_". Who is Black Cat? Who is the other man? Who is he torturing?_ Mikan kept replaying the questions in her head. All the while, Yuri kept describing his day to her.

"Mikan-nee?"

"Mikan-nee?"

"MIKAN-NEE!"

Mikan was awakened from her thoughts by her fuming little brother. His cheeks were burning with anger and irritation.

Mikan pinched one of his cheeks "You know you are very cute when you're angry?"

"Mikan-nee, you didn't hear a word of what I said."

His face was dripping with disappointment and rejection. "Am I boring you?" His eyes tried to pull off nonchalance.

"No, I'm sorry; I was just thinking about something. Will you forgive me?" Her eyes were pleading for her brother's forgiveness and understanding.

He looked at the other food stands while he contemplated his answer. "Mikan-nee"

"Yes, Yuri?"

"You are worried over the Black Cat, aren't you?" His voice was calm as he switched his gaze from the food stands to the clear blue sky above us.

Mikan bit her lip and finally exhaled. "Yes, I am. I can't just sit here and carry on with mundane activities. I need to know what's happening. I know you wanted a day of bonding since it's our second day in this school, but I just have to know."

"Mikan, how can you possibly help? He has probably left already. I know you have this complex to save people but for once, can you please stop?"

Mikan was astounded; no, she was flabbergasted, she didn't have any idea how her brother felt. She realized that she can't think only about herself, she needs to focus on making her brother happy. This is their time to finally have a happy life; she is definitely _not _going to mess it up.

"I'm sorry Yuri, you're right. "

"You want to go for a stroll around the park?" she asked as she sneaked a peek at her brother and saw the smile that spread across his face.

"Yes! Yes!" He exclaimed as his eyes shone with excitement.

After eating their lunch they threw away their trash and headed to the park.

* * *

**Mikan's POV**

I held his hand as we walked. We entered through a fence. There was a pebble pathway leading straight through the park. We walked slowly breathing in this wonderful nature; we watched the different types of trees as well as flowers.

Sakura trees swaying in the lazy breeze, as Yuri was jumping through the fallen amber leaves. His head popped out as he graced me with a charming smile.

"Mikan-nee, come play with me!" He laughed.

I dropped our bags and ran into a fluffy and soft pile of Sakura petals, tulips, and lilies that greeted me. I couldn't contain my laughter nor my smile that spread across my face. I grasped a handful of Sakura petals and practically buried Yuri in them. He giggled as he usually did and finally after almost half an hour of throwing sakura petals we laid on the colorful flowers. I could hear his heavy breathing and I could see the drops of perspiration. His emerald eyes shone with excitement and happiness. His cheeks brightened with pink after the fun we just had. His smile couldn't be brighter; it was like looking at a shooting star.

I pulled him away from the scene and put him on my shoulders. I glanced up to him and with a smile of my own I said, "Let's go home!"

We walked home hand in hand. It was nice; I felt like we would live happy here, in this academy. I had to have hoped that we would be happy and that maybe one day Yuri would forgive me. I wouldn't know what to do if I lost Yuri. I have lost so much already; losing him would be like the last stab to my heart. I don't know how the Black Cat does it. I don't know how he could just be blacked mailed all to save that person_?_ I wish him luck.

Natsume walked back to his dorm to prepare himself for the mission Persona has prepared for him. He walked near the side of the school when he saw her.

The brunette walked hand in hand with Yuri. She smiled at him as he grinned at her.

"Mikan-nee that was so much fun, thank you for doing this for me". He grinned.

She nodded. "Anytime, just to see my little brother happy."

They turned the corner and Mikan caught a glimpse of the raven haired lad, as soon as she spotted him he vanished.

"Mikan-nee let's go." He pulled her to their room.

….

Natsume watched the brunette smiling from ear to ear. He noticed how she shines when she is around that little kid. He then over hears their conversation. He hears "Mikan-nee" and also "to make my little brother happy". He hid in the shadows as he spotted the brunette facing his direction. He continued to watch her from the darkness. How could he do this to her?

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**Natsume Pov**

_Great! Just perfect, my mission is to teach him to fight and his sister is Mikan Sakura. This is troublesome, but no matter the cost if this helps me save my sister, then so be it. I know she'll hate me for this, but I don't have any other choice. She is able to have her brother and spend days with each other, while I have to fight and claw my way out just to catch a glimpse of my beloved sister. I'll be the bad guy. I've always been the bad guy. I watched her silhouette as she turned the corner. Even if I hurt you, I'm sorry. Just know I'm not doing it in spite. I'm doing this for her. I jumped from tree to tree and met with Persona for my other mission. It's time to do the job._

…

"Mikan-nee, do you think father is watching over us from the stars?" Yuri questioned. He watched the stars that were above his room. He saw Orion's Belt watching him; he saw the Big Dipper wink at him, and all the stars surrounded him.

He turned to his sister who was brushing her lovely auburn locks. She faced the mirror and could barely stand her own reflection. Her locks were soft like silk and shined with the luminous moon. Yet she couldn't stand to look at herself. Her lips were always in a frown and Yuri wished he could change it to a heart stopping smile, but that wouldn't happen. She wouldn't let it happen.

She couldn't even see the beauty within herself. After that day, she believed she was an abomination. She couldn't stand her reflection because she saw _him_. She saw his kind eyes that would chide her. She would see the smile that he gave her every time she cried, on her face. She couldn't stand her reflection. It was a reminder for the act she committed and it would always be imprinted into her skin. Reminding her she was a killer. She was a cold blooded murder that didn't deserve redemption. She didn't deserve anything, nothing at all.

She watched Yuri from the beauty counter and glanced at him from the mirror, she smiled. She smiled at her little brother for being himself. She stared at him in his pjs, which consisted of a black t and blue shorts; and just the normalcy of his attire made her realize that she could be happy as long as he is with her. He stared at her eyes and she smiled at him.

She turned back to her hair and answered, "I'm sure he is watching over you. He is making sure you are growing up strong just like he did."

He didn't like her answer. "What about you, Mikan-nee? Isn't he watching over you?" He peeked at her.

Her mouth quivered for a moment, but it was enough for Yuri to notice. She turned with her smile, "I'm sure he is. I hope he is. He loved me so, so I'm sure he will watch over us."

Her figure shivered a bit and her eyes were holding a profound sadness that Yuri knew he couldn't take away. He hoped that one day, someone would take the pain away; the pain that has crept into her heart and smile.

"You're right, Mikan-nee." He smiled at her and then turned off the light and heard the shuffle of her feet. He felt the bed sink just a fraction and felt her lips giving him a goodnight kiss.

"I love you, good night." He felt her lips brush his cheeks and then it was gone.

_I love you too. I just wish we could truly be happy._ He drifted off to sleep.

Mikan watched as her brother fell to a deep slumber. She covered him with the blankets and hoped he had pleasant dreams. She swiftly left the bed and turned to the window. She watched the moon. All the craters that have made its way into the moon, she knew it so well. She knew her father was the moon watching over him; making sure Yuri was safe. He better make sure that he is protected. She turned to the moon and cried. The tears that left her eyes, were pieces of the darkness that was inside her. The darkness that consumes her each and every day, was watching over her. She wiped her tears and covered her mouth in order to muffle her cries. After her cry she wiped her tears and headed to bed. Hopefully one day the darkness would leave her alone.

A month has passed since that day. Mikan has been devoted with love by every male in her class and she has turned them all down. Class is bearable, but not for the last few weeks. A girl with green hair keeps bullying Mikan. She tried to explain to her that being next to Natsume didn't mean anything.

Mikan was reading a manga called Full Moon Wo Sagashite. She glanced at Permy and then flipped the page. Sumire fumed, her face was crimson. She couldn't believe Sakura was ignoring her. _Didn't she know who she was ignoring?_

Mikan was annoyed with Permy's banter that she got up from her chair and walked outside the classroom, but not before saying, "If I wanted to get screamed at, I would look for my mother; I don't need another bitch nagging me."

Everyone in the room gasped and soon Mikan left them in the dust. She walked to the Sakura tree to relax and reflect on the events that transpired.

_Yuri has been acting strange. He's barely talked to me, it's like he's a different person. Now he doesn't want to walk home with me. I guess he must hate me. Mikan contemplated the evidence. _

She didn't want her brother to treat her so coolly. She stared at the clear blue sky and felt depressed just by looking at it. The clouds held little comfort. It's just how she thought; she was truly alone in this world. The breeze brought a nice, cold feeling, which helped her quite a bit. Mikan loved the texture of the emerald grass that welcomed her with its aroma of nature. While the bark of the sturdy tree provided support for her heart, the sakura petals provided love within her soul.

"Hey", a mysterious voice called to her.

Mikan turned to be greeted by crimson orbs. His eyes were so cold and it made her shiver. His raven hair added more to the feeling of death and loneliness. She caught her breathe.

"Yes?" she looked into his eyes as he nodded towards her.

"You seem sort of strange, today; do you have your period or something?" He smirked. There was playfulness in his voice but it didn't reach his eyes.

Mikan decided to play the bipolar card. Her mouth quivered slightly as she grasped for her knees to help her hold on. Her tears were spilling from her eyes and it could only be described as rivers of sorrow.

She looked up to him and screamed, "What if I do? Why would you make fun of Mother Nature's twisted gift to me? I have cramps, and I'm bloated, and I'm craving howalons. Why should you make fun of me for your entertainment? Don't you know what you say can hurt my faint and fragile heart?" She pulled another round of tears and soon Natsume panicked.

He didn't know what to do. He was confused. "You and your female body parts are really troublesome", he scoffed. He turned from her and thought of a solution.

"What if I took you to Central Town and we'll buy howalon?" He baited.

She smiled and even he was amazed at its radiance. "That would be great!" She cheered. She picked herself up and dusted her skirt from all the pollen and dirt surrounding them. She whispered to him, "That's your punishment for making me go through Permy's bullshit." With that, she walked toward the school.

He chuckled," Are you sure it isn't your punishment that you have to deal with me?" he whispered to himself.

"See you soon POLKA DOTS", he screamed.

Mikan turned slightly and saw his smirk. "I'm going to kill you! You pervert!"

Everything within a 10 mile radius was doomed; especially when they face the wrath of Mikan's voice.

Mikan chased after Natsume while he just dodged all her punches and kicks.

The whole school chuckled at those two's actions.

Hotaru watched from the window as she finished her latest invention, the Baka 30,000 Super Kill.

There was a devilish sparkle in her eyes, "Maybe, just maybe"

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**I hope you guys enjoyed it! I put my heart and soul into it. Love you all! Have a wonderful Monday! **

**Please RXR**

**Sincerely, Silver Meaning of Life and Love**


	6. The Spark

**Hey! I know I haven't updated in a month, but I do apologize. I know, you all been waiting for this chapter, so here it goes! Please enjoy and review! I love you all and thanks for your support.**

**Sincerely, SilverMeaning of life and Love XOXO**

* * *

"Sakura, look over here!" Hotaru hissed. She snapped her camera as Mikan posed in all the provocative attire.

"I can't believe I'm doing this. This is so demeaning," Mikan shook her head in dismay.

Hotaru smiled, a small smile, but it was evident in her face. She liked spending time with Sakura even when she can't admit it to herself.

"If you continue to squirm, I will take your commission all for myself," she warned as she snapped more pictures.

"Outfit change!" Hotaru ordered.

"Why do I have to pose for these pictures? I don't wear these frilly clothes," she pouted.

Mikan stared in the mirror only to see her in a maid outfit. Her hair was let loose into curls. Her blush was evident as her eyes shone, and she couldn't believe how beautiful she could look.

"Do you like what you see?" Hotaru smirked.

Mikan looked away from the mirror and faced the cold girl with a glare.

"Let's hurry up, I don't want to continue looking like this," she retorted.

Hotaru continued taking pictures of her model "think of all the money you will make, Sakura. This will make it bearable."

Mikan glared at the greedy girl, as she smiled at the camera and posed.

After 2 hours of taking pictures, Mikan was exhausted. The maid outfits, the play boy bunny, the swim suit, it was all so tiring.

She reviewed the photos with Hotaru, and nodded in approval at those that were acceptable for distribution and kept the ones that were too slutty.

Mikan walked away from Hotaru and headed to class. Little did she know that Hotaru had a plan of her own.

"Sakura, with these pictures you're going to make me rich," she smiled at the negatives in her hand.

Mikan entered her classroom and watched as the students snickered as she walked by. _What's up with them?" she thought. _

She passed by Permy and her drones and as she took her seat, they cornered her.

Permy sashayed her annoying ass over to Mikan's desk and smirked. "I guess, we all know Sakura's secret talent for being a 'model'. You would do very well, in pornography."

Mikan ignored her and continued reading her manga. _What the hell is she talking about? I don't do porn. _

Sumire slapped the manga out of Mikan's hand and grabbed her by the collar. "We don't accept whores in our school," she fumed.

Mikan had enough. "Then, why did they let a slut like you in?" she pulled away from her grasp.

"Show me the so called pictures that make me a slut!" everyone stepped away, only one girl came forward. She had pink hair and kind eyes.

She placed the pictures in front of Mikan's eyes and saw as her eyes went wide. Mikan's whole body turned red with embarrassment. Her cheeks were flushed. Her eyes were watery. Her body shook and that's when she blew up.

"Hotaru!" she chased the ice queen around the entire classroom, but little did they know, our Black Cat took a liking to the photos.

Natsume, amongst the chaos in front of him, took the pictures and placed it in his pocket. He walked out without making a sound.

He went to the Sakura tree and took out the pictures. He's favorite one was one of Mikan in a maid outfit trying to be cute. She had a smile as she posed in front of the picture.

Her curly locks placed lightly on her shoulders as her eyes contained innocence.

Natsume couldn't help the smile that formed on his lips. Suddenly, he wasn't alone.

He placed his mask on his face and hid the photos in his pocket. He turned to the intruder.

"What is it?" He growled. He hated being interrupted, but slowly calmed his anger.

"The deed has been done. He won't be talking anymore. I erased his memories. Anything from that night has been forgotten," the mysterious voice mumbled.

"Good work. Soon, you will be free from this schools chains, but for right now you will have to be cold to everyone," Natsume warned.

"How long do you want me to push away my only sister? I can't continue to hurt her like this. I won't be the reason for her not to smile. I may be your subordinate, but I won't do that again. Find someone else, if you want me to push my sister within herself," he seethed.

Natsume nodded to himself. "You're right. There's no point to bring her more pain, but if you want persona to come after her, then you better have a backup plan," he said coolly.

The mysterious figure dropped to his knees and whimpered, "How can you be so cruel? What have I done to deserve this? Why can't I be happy once in my life? I won't forget this black cat. I will find out who you really are, and once I do, prepare yourself." The figure disappeared.

Natsume sighed, "Once you find out, you won't be the only one who hates me." He held the picture close to his heart and sighed. He jumped off the tree and headed to his dorm. To his surprise, he found a fumed girl waiting by his door.

…..

"Finally, you showed up! I've been waiting for half an hour, are you ready to go?" She eyed his attire and shook her head.

He couldn't even speak as he saw her all dressed up. He stared at her black high heels, her black skinny jeans and then the beautiful pink blouse hanging on her shoulders. His mouth went dry.

She cocked her head to one side and her eyes held amusement. "Do you like what you see?" she flirts. She smiles and gives him a twirl, which to his surprise turned him on.

He recovered his wits. "I'm just trying to picture how someone like you can take such provocative pictures," he smirks.

Mikan fumes, "Are you going to give me shit about the pictures, too?"

Natsume held his breath. "No. Not really. Just making an observation," he sighs.

She walks towards him and reaches for his face. He is too quick and pushes her away. She gasps at the force of his shove. They stare at each other, neither giving up.

Mikan turns her face away from him. "Am I that repulsive? Is that why you won't let me touch you, and why my brother won't even give me the time of day? Am I a disease that plagues this school?" she whispers. Her eyes stare intently at him, urging a response.

He knows that all he does is hurt her time after time. He smirks at her to lighten the mood. "You're not repulsive, just a bit overwhelming. You and your banter can really make people stay clear of you. Besides, you give me a headache every time," he smirks.

She let out a soft giggle to ease the mood. Again, she reaches for his chest and clasped her hands around the keys. She pulls it from his front pocket and let's herself inside his dorm.

She turns on the light switch and amazed at the sight of this luscious dorm. Pale crimson walls welcomed her in, as she takes a step through the threshold.

A small kitchen to her right and to her left a closet. She heads to the bed. The bed was alluring, eyeing her with its satin sheets. Facing the bed is a Samsung flat screen TV. To the right of the TV is a walk in closet.

Mikan hesitates but then with as much bravery she can muster, walks in and picks out his clothes. She found many different shirts all of different fabric. She settled on a nice black button shirt and some low cut black jeans. She turned to be welcomed by his soft gaze. His crimson eyes stared deep into her soul and frankly making her hungry… for him.

She flung the articles of clothing to his awaiting hands. She brushed past him, but not before his breath touched her ears whispering, "I like the choice of panties you picked out for this evening."

Mikan felt blush etched onto her face. He paraded toward the bathroom and gave her a wink as he closed the door.

Mikan tried to relax and regulate her breathing. All she could picture was him taking his shirt of slowly, and turning to her with a small sexy smile. Mikan shook her head and brushed aside the naughty thoughts.

She laid on the bed and felt sleep overcome her. She felt sheets being pulled over her. Realization hit her and she sat up and was staring at crimson eyes. They were soft, as he stared into her eyes. She went scarlet as she realized she was still in his bed. She fumbled of the bed and headed for the door.

"Let's go, you owe me my howalon," she whispered as she waited by the door trying to hide her embarrassment.

Natsume strolled over the door and she could feel his breath as he loomed over her small stature. She shivered and quickly opened the door. She practically threw herself outside.

…..

They finally made it to Central town and she couldn't contain her excitement. She looked up at him and saw his ears turn a slight pink. She cocked her head to the side and gave him another smile. She couldn't help it. She was so comfortable with him. He made her happy, yet she couldn't relish in that fact because she didn't believe she deserved happiness.

He gave her a small smile and grabbed her hand and walked through all the stores, looking through different sections of jewelry.

Natsume picked out the best gift he thought would make her smile. He bought it at once and hid the present in his pockets. He let her drag him everywhere. He couldn't stop the small smile surface, as he watched her. All he saw was her beautiful smile and her light blush. He has never seen her relaxed and frankly, he liked seeing her this way.

She turned to see Natsume gazing at her and she couldn't help but smile. Finally, she grabbed his hand and they headed to the howalon shop. She was ready for her prize. She looked up at him and grinned, and forgot how her fingers were intertwined with his. She loved the way her small hand fit in his. It was mind blowing. It sent shivers up her spine.

Finally, it was their turn. Mikan asked for two boxes of howalon and Natsume paid for it.

"Thank you for today. It made me really happy," she beamed.

He looked down and nodded. "I owed you that much. Now give me the boxes," he growled.

He swiped the boxes from her grasp and she let out a whine.

"Those are mine," she fumed.

"I paid for them. So, technically they are mine," he smirked. He sat against the sakura tree and plopped a howalon into his mouth, savoring and looking pointedly at her.

She was pouting. He couldn't help the laugh that made its way through his throat.

Mikan gasped. He laughed. He has never laughed before. She beamed and couldn't contain her laughter. She kneeled in front of him and reached for the boxes, but missed.

"What do you think you are doing, missy?" he raised an eyebrow.

"I want my present. I deserve it and you promised," she whined.

He leaned forward until he was just to centimeters from her mouth. He couldn't help but admire her small mouth. She stilled and waited for his next move.

"Open your mouth, and closed your eyes," he ordered. She obeyed and waited for his kiss that never came.

She waited and waited, but to no avail nothing happened. She peaked and she saw him finishing the first box.

She cried, "You tricked me. You finished the first box! Give me the second one." She lunged at him. She knocked the breath out of him and smirked as she was on top. She grabbed the box away from his reach and continued to pin him down. She made a cushion out of him and soon she started eating her prize. She made sure he watched her. She licked it tentatively and rubbed it over her entire mouth. Soon after, she plopped it in her mouth. She glanced at him and saw his glower.

Mikan didn't faze and continued her process. She took the last howalon and placed it on his lips and waited for him to lean forward and take a bite out of it. She pulled it away just before he reached it. She smirked, and just as she plopped it into her mouth he freed himself from her and bit the howalon out of her grasp. She sighed. She shook her head as she faced his smirk.

"You are unbelievable," she laughed.

He stuck out his tongue to show her, the remaining howalon. She pounced and grabbed for the howalon, only find her on his lap. Her lips pressed against his. She gasped and pulled away from him.

_I just kissed him. I kissed Natsume Hyuuga. Oh, god. I'm so screwed. He's probably going to kill me. She waited for him to speak and grill her, but nothing happened. _

She turned and saw him. He was calm, not really affected. She thought she should apologize, even though she wanted to kiss him.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to… kiss you…" she trailed off. She waited for his response and he jumped on her.

She closed her eyes and waited for him to kiss her. She looked up and saw him staring at her with soft, gentle eyes. He held his stance as he pushed her against the soft grass. Her hands restrained by his. He growled as she tried to free herself. She stopped immediately and waited.

"I understand I'm irresistible, but do you think next time you could ask before you jump my bones?" he teased.

Mikan growled at his remark. "What do you mean 'next time'?"

He grabbed her chin and made her face him. She blushed like she always does. Then he planted a soft chaste kiss on her lips. Mikan was dumbfounded and couldn't contain her excitement. She pulled free and brought him closer to her. She needed his touch. She needed him.

After a few minutes, they pulled apart and they couldn't contain their satisfaction from their face.

Mikan gazed into his hungry eyes and tried to control her breathing. Her flushed face making her more heated as she took him in.

Natsume watched her and saw the innocence in her eyes and couldn't help but smirk. He pulled her up and walked hand in hand to the bus.

They arrived at Mikan's dorm and Mikan felt a pang of dismay as she knew this was good night. She let out a sigh and she faced him.

He gave her sexy smile and kissed her forehead. Mikan was flabbergasted. She didn't know what this meant.

"Close your eyes," he whispered. She obliged and wondered what he was up to. She peeked and saw him kneel down.

He caught her eyes and glared. "No peeking," he growled.

She giggled and waited. She felt something cool on her skin. She looked down and it was an anklet. It was a gold chain with heart charms and one charm of a sakura petal. Mikan squealed and hugged him tight.

"I love it! Thank you so much!" She cheered.

He nodded and gave her a shy smile. Mikan tiptoed to kiss his lips when suddenly her door opened. She jumped away from him and stood as far as way as possible. Her face blanked. Natsume frowned as he turned to see Yuri.

Yuri looked to and fro. He narrowed his eyes at Natsume. "Mikan, who is this?" Yuri growled.

Mikan shifted and mumbled incoherently. "Um... He's my classmate," she blushed.

Yuri narrowed his eyes at her and gazed suspiciously at Natsume. He stepped in front of Mikan and introduced himself.

"I'm Yuri Sakura, nice to meet you," he said coolly.

Natsume nodded and shook his hand. "Natsume Hyuuga."

Natsume turned to Mikan and his eyes softened. "Good night, Mikan"

Mikan smiled and nodded toward him. "Good night, Natsume."

…

Yuri turned towards his sister and saw that smile; the smile that had been erased from his memories.

"You like him, don't you?" he questioned.

She turned and gave him the same smile. "I do."

Yuri nodded and headed back to bed.

Mikan watched as Natsume turned the corner and then he was gone. She sighed.

She was happy. She headed for bed and snuggled into Yuri.

Does this mean she can be happy? Or is this a test? She closed her eyes and hoped for happiness.

I want to be happy. I want to be with him. He can make me happy. Only he can. She drifted to sleep with her silent prayer.

* * *

**How did I do? I hope you liked it! I love this chapter the most! Please R&R I want to know your feedback.**

**Have a beautiful Monday, everyone! **


	7. Time to let you go

**Hi, guys! I'm sorry for the delay, I hope you will forgive me.**

**Please review and enjoy! **

**Sincerely, SilverMeaning of Life and Love**

* * *

**Chapter 7: Time to let you go**

Weeks have passed since that night.

Natsume and I have been secretly dating. We would meet before and after school by the sakura tree. We knew what we were doing was dangerous, but it didn't matter. We couldn't stay away from each other.

I felt his hand caress mine. His touch was like fire. I couldn't breathe. He watched me through those wonderful eyelashes as he closed around my hand. He smirked. I blushed.

Suddenly a note was flung at my desk. I started to unfold the crumpled paper.

It read: _I know what you're doing. If you don't want word to get around about your love affair, meet me at the gym at 3:00pm. If you don't, I'll expose you. _

I couldn't breathe. My whole world went still. If this got out, my world will fall apart. I would be constantly bullied by these bitches day after day. I can't let this happen. My life here would be over. What about Yuri? He would hate me. Ever since that day, he's told me to stay away from Natsume. He said he doesn't trust him. And yet, I ignored his warnings.

I felt a hand holding mine. I looked up to stare at beautiful crimson eyes. Natsume, his eyes soft and warm, told me everything would be all right. I have to believe him.

The day droned on and on. Jinno called me to the board like always, and each time I made him look like an idiot. I headed out the classroom since it was time for lunch.

Suddenly, I was pulled into a closet. I tried to scream, but someone covered my mouth. Then I heard, "It's me. Did you really think I would let you go that easily? If you care about Hyuuga, then leave him. He doesn't need you. If you don't, I'll make sure your brother will have a little accident."

Then the mysterious voice was gone. It didn't matter, because I knew who it was. And they meant business. I climbed out of the closet and headed to the Sakura tree. There he was, the love of my life. He gave me a slow, sexy smile. His eyes brightened when they met mine. I couldn't help my smile, but it faltered.

He pulled me in his arms and then I cried. I told him about the closet incident, and I saw his eyes darken with anger. "I will deal with it. Don't worry about anything. This is my mess; I have to clean it up."

"Natsume, I can't risk Yuri. I just can't. I can't lose him. If it means I can't see you for now, then so be it." With that said I pulled away from him and walked away.

Every step I took, my heart cracked. It was like glass; it cracked and when I entered the classroom it broke all together. I couldn't breathe. I rested my head on my desk and stayed there. Tears kept falling. I knew what I did was the only way to keep everyone safe. _Natsume would understand, right?_

...

I hoped he would. He didn't come back to class. I knew it was my entire fault. It was always my fault that people get hurt. The day continued its normal routine. I packed up to head home, when I was stopped by Nonoko, Anna, and Imai.

They smiled and I gave them a friendly smile. "We saw you were all alone and we were wondering if you would like to hang out with us today."

I began my protest, and then I saw Hotaru pull her baka gun. "It wasn't a request. You will come with us," she smiled.

"Well, I can't argue with that. I need some girl time, anyway," I smiled.

We headed to central town. Nonoko was looking for some jewelry, while Anna was looking for dresses. Hotaru and I were looking for shoes.

"So why are we looking for shoes? Is there going to be a party or something?" I questioned.

"It's something like that." She didn't elaborate.

I looked around and found a beautiful pair of purple pumps. I pulled them and thrust them upon Hotaru.

She looked startled and then composed herself. "Who are these for?"

"Those are for you. I never did repay you for lunch, so it's a gift." I smiled.

Hotaru nodded and gave me a small smile. "Thanks, Baka."

I nodded and proceeded to look for my shoe. After we all found our accessories, we headed to an ice cream stand.

We sat on the grass and ate our delicious vanilla ice cream. "So what was the point of the accessories?" I asked.

They all gave me a "you're an idiot" look. "You really don't know about the mascaraed ball?" Nonoko incredulously asked.

I shook my head and licked my ice cream. "No one really talks to me in this school. So I wouldn't know."

"That's because you don't talk to them. You wouldn't know because you give everyone a death glare. You should try to be nicer looking and people would actually include you in their plans," Anna interjected.

"She's not here to make friends. She believes that she shouldn't even be graced with kindness. That's why she pushes everyone away. Isn't that right, Sakura?" Hotaru said nonchalantly.

I continued to lick my ice cream and faced the sky. _How the hell did she know that?_

"Is that true Mikan-chan?" Anna frowned.

"It's not true, right? You wouldn't torture yourself like that." Nonoko pleaded.

"It's true. I have a dark secret. I have caused pain to my loved ones and now all I have is Yuri. I can't bear the thought of losing him. That's why I can't have friends. If I allow myself the luxury of having friends, then it feels like I'm not paying for my crimes. I am a murderer and I don't have the right to be happy. I must pay for my actions." I confessed.

I stood up, gave them one last glance and walked away. _Goodbye, my friends._

**Back to the Academy...**

I was back at GA and I felt depressed. I didn't have my friends; I didn't have Yuri; I lost Natsume. _Please tell me what left is there to take from me?_ I headed to our tree and there he was.

He was asleep. The manga covered his face. I felt my lips tug. He was the one thing I can't live without. I kneeled down and sat next to him. I rested my head on his shoulder. I hoped he wouldn't wake. I shook him and he didn't budge. Seeing as he wasn't waking up anytime soon, I decided to confess to him.

"I know you probably hate me, but I can't help but hope you would wait for me. I know what I'm asking is selfish of me, but I just needed to tell you my reasons. I needed you to know that no matter what I say, don't believe me. If I say I hate you, it means I love you. If I say leave me alone, it means I miss you. If I say I never wished I met you, it means I can't live without you. I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you. And I'm sorry I couldn't stay by your side." I kissed his forehead and walked away.

I turned to see his sleeping form. I smiled to myself, knowing I was doing the right thing. _I'll miss you_.

I turned and headed back home. Yuri waited for me. "Where have you been? I got worried." He blushed.

I smiled. "I'm sorry. I won't do it again. I was just exploring our new home."

He gave me frown. "How do you like our new home?"

"I couldn't have asked for a better place. This place is just for you and I. As long as we have each other, we will make it through."

"What about boys? Isn't Hyuuga going to help you through your obstacles?" he growled.

"No need to worry about him. You are the only one I care about. He doesn't matter." I lied.

"You sure about that?" he sighed.

"More than you know." I smiled.

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**How did I do? Did you guys like it? I hope I met your expectations! **


	8. Asking for Forgiveness

**I know it's been a long time since my last update. Before you guys bite my head off, you should know I made this chapter extra special. I wont waste your time with excuses because frankly, you guys don't care. So here is the chapter! ENjoy and please review! Thank you all for your support, comments, and constructed criticism. You guys rock! ^_^**

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**Chapter 8. Asking for Forgiveness**

Months. It has been 2 months since Mikan broke it off with Natsume and she is in a slump. Every day in school is pure torture. The ability to hold his hands, kiss his lips, and look into his crimson eyes, and knowing that it can never happen is pure torture. She knows that she must bury her feelings for him, in order to stick by Yuri and focus her attention on only him. Even though her heart is in pain she looks the other way-away from her heart- because it's the only way to keep her brother. That way is to keep her heart in a box, so no one can hear it cry out. Now, it's time for the brunette to dust herself off and head to school.

Mikan Pov.

Walking to class isn't exactly fun, but knowing the trail after walking on it for so long gives me time to think. I spend most of my days thinking about him. I try to avoid it, but you can't stop how you feel. You can't stop your heart from being in unexplainable agony, when you are the one who caused it. How can I continue this charade I call my life? Seeing his face, never facing me hurts me to know end. I remember when he would only face me, only look at me, only be with me, but things have changed. We can't be together and it's my fault. I made the choice to be with Yuri, because that's what he wanted. I have no right to happiness, not even with my brother. I am- *crash*

Of course this would happen to me. I have perfect timing. Thinking about him and crashing into him are two different things that I should learn to avoid, but of course I'm not getting any better with our routine. Natsume dusted his burgundy pants and proceeded to glare at me. It took me a second that I was still on the floor and probably looking like a star struck teen. I hurried to my feet and avoided his eyes. " I'm s-sorry, Natsume. I wasn't paying attention to the road ahead of me." I whispered.

"Of course you weren't. Just remember you chose this road. There is no going back. Make the best of your situation, maybe one day we will cross the same paths again." He smirked and walked away.

Natsume has always been a mystery, but being so cryptic wasn't his style. _What did he mean by "crossing the same paths again?"_

Lost in my thoughts, I headed to class. I passed Anna's and Nonoko's smiling faces and their greeting. Hotaru glared at me as I passed her. _I'm sorry. I can't allow myself to care for you. All I'll do is hurt you._

Sumire stood in my path. I glared, "please, move."

She smiled her plastic smile and sucked her teeth as she looked at her neon green acrylic nails. "Sakura, I see that you've lost your friends. So tell me, how does it feel to be a loser?" She giggled.

I, having no patience just pushed her aside and sat idly in my seat. Putting my head down was the only medicine that allowed me to forget everyone I care about.

I was so rudely interrupted once again." Sakura!" Jinno-sensei yelled.

Rolling my eyes, reluctantly raised my head and stared black holes into his.

"What? What is it that you can possibly annoy the shit out of me this time? What fucking problem do you need me to solve? There are 30 kids in here and you choose to pick me every single time." I fumed.

Everyone was left shocked with their jaws dropped.

Jinno didn't even flinch. "Now head to the principal's office. Please do try to mind your tongue. We wouldn't want you expelled." He grinned.

I peered around the room and wasn't surprised at their snickering and their shocked faces. I smiled sweetly at everyone and headed for the door. I looked back to see _him_. He looked out the window and I saw the lost boy inside of him. He looked like a lonely boy with no one to comfort him.

I whispered to him. "I love you." Without another last glance I headed to the office. _Why the hell did I say that? I shouldn't have said anything to him. I should have kept my mouth shut._

I reached the secretary and told her I was sent here. She nodded and called the principal. "He said to come in."

I walked through the double doors and closed it behind me. I slowly turned and faced him. He was a tall man with dirty blond hair. His emerald eyes stared into mine and for a second I reached for him. He looked so much like _him_. He motioned for the chair. I walked quickly and sat on the leather covered chair. I shifted uneasily under his gaze.

"Do you know why I called you?" He questioned. I flinched. He sounded so much like _him_.

I shook my head. It felt like that time I was reprimanded by _him_. After I cried and apologized he hugged me and whispered that he would always love me. He made me feel safe. But this man before me is not my father. He is not warm or welcoming or kind. He is nothing like him.

"I have no idea... " I lost my voice.

He stared intensely and I continued to avoid his gaze.

"Mikan…"

I flinched at his voice. I covered my ears to drone out the pain.

"Mikan, listen to me." He reached for me. Quickly, I jumped up from my chair and headed for the door.

"Mikan, I know what happened to your father."

My hand fell from the handle and I turned to him. "How do you know about that?" I whispered.

I felt drops cascading down my cheeks. It's been so long since I've spoken about that incident, but it still burns my core.

He calmly walks to me and directed me to the chair once again. "I know you didn't kill him. It wasn't your fault. You didn't mean for him to be hit by that car. You were just a kid. I know I'm just a stranger to you, but I care about you." He confessed.

My head was spinning. "You know about everything then. You know how my mother abandoned me because she couldn't look at her daughter without hating her. I understand her, though. She just couldn't stand the sight of her daughter being a murderer especially, when I killed her husband." I confessed.

He stared at me with eyes fills of compassion and love. "Do you believe you killed him?"

"Well, what other explanation could there be? I killed him and he's not coming back. If I would have been off the street, then he would still be here. I'm at fault. Now I don't have a mom or a dad. I have no one."

He cupped my cheek and gazed at me and finally sighed. He walked to his desk and pulled out a package. It was a red box and had an eggshell white ribbon.

He placed the box in my hands. "This was your mothers. She wore it when she first met your father. She wanted you to have it."

I swallowed back my tears. "You are lying. She would want nothing to do with me. I don't want this." I pushed the box into his hands and headed out the door.

I rushed out the office and ran to the only place I could. I ran to my dorm. I was blinded by tears and bumped into someone. I pushed against that person and continued my pace. Finally in my dorm, I released my agony, my pain, my hatred, my death sentence.

"Mikan, let me in." I know that voice.

"Leave me alone. I don't need anyone; I just need to be alone. Please leave me alone." I begged. I checked the peephole and there she was. Hotaru Imai.

Idiot, if you don't open this door in five seconds I will blow it to bits. She pointed the Baka gun at the peep hole.

" 5..."

" 4..."

" 3..."

"2.."

"1."

I turned the knob and let her inside. I faced her with red rimmed eyes and glared. " Are you happy now?" I cried.

I ignored her and headed for the couch.

"Sakura, what is going on? What happened? Does it have to do with Hyuuga?"

"Hotaru, it's not about Natsume. It's about me and my family. Everything is going to shit."

Hotaru placed herself next to me on the couch and her violet eyes held compassion.

It was brief, and then she hugged me. "Tell me what happened."

I held her tight and spilled everything. She said nothing to console me, but gave me reassuring pats to tell me she was listening. After that she went back to being her cold self. She stood up and headed for the door. She paused and stared at me. "Tell anyone of this and I will deny it. Feel better, Baka." With that she left me gaping at her silhouette.

I giggled and wiped my tears. _Thank you, Hotaru, you really are a true friend._

I headed to the shrine. I kneel respectfully and begged my father's forgiveness.

"Hi, dad. It's been a long time. I still…. M-miss you. I don't know how I will survive without you. I screwed everything up. I messed up the life you've made for all of us. Okaa-san hates me; you are gone; Yuri barely speaks to me; the person I love is in pain; and I'm ruining everyone's life.

I held his picture and fell to sleep with his picture in my arms. "I miss you, daddy."

Arms enveloped me. I felt war, like nothing before. I felt at peace. All I could here is….

"I miss you, too."

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**I left you in suspense didn't, I? :D Sorry but you"ll find out soon enough. Can you guess who it is? Please review**

**Sincerely, SilverMeaning of Life and Love**


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